


The pool about Phil's sexuality

by Rockstars_dont_do_mornings



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Getting Together, Happy, Happy Ending, I'm Bad At Tagging, Insecure Phil, M/M, Pool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 10:28:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30087720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rockstars_dont_do_mornings/pseuds/Rockstars_dont_do_mornings
Summary: Agent Phil Coulson’s sexuality had begun to be a quite a mystery at S.H.I.E.L.D. recently. He was one of the most liked agents and respected. A lot of the younger agents wanted to get to his pants' which brings to the question who had the chance to.***Pool about Phil Coulson's sexuality... this should be interesting.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Comments: 7
Kudos: 28





	The pool about Phil's sexuality

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any mistakes, english isn't my first language.

Agent Phil Coulson’s sexuality had begun to be a quite a mystery at S.H.I.E.L.D. recently. He was one of the most liked agent and respected. A lot of the younger agents wanted to get to his pants which brings to the question who had a chance to.

One agent had made a pool about it couple of months ago and it had since became the most popular pool S.H.I.E.L.D. had ever had almost every junior agent had put some mon-ey to it and updated it when they went wrong. Coulson had no idea about this as it was the general rule that if a pool was about somebody that somebody shouldn’t know.

Clint Barton however did know about this pool and wanted to tell his handler about it. He hadn’t set any money on it as he felt it was inappropriate but he did discus others about it. Some said he was straight, some said he was gay, few suggested bi or pan or others. There was lgbt community inside S.H.I.E.L.D with a lot of members so basically every-thing was suggested. Someone even said Coulson was straight married with Fury’s sister and cheated on her with a different chick every weekend.

Clint thought it was disrespectful to even think Coulson would cheat on anyone. He wanted to just yell at the person that Coulson would never do anything like that. Clint knew that even if Coulson liked men Coulson would never like Clint so he didn’t do anything about his stupid crush that he definitely should get over.

***

”Have you heard about the new rumours? Someone heard that Agent Coulson wanted to get to someone’s pants here at S.H.I.E.L.D.’S” Clint heard blue haired girl say to another girl.

”I bet it’s going to get people to bet more money. Do you have any idea who it is?” the an-other girl asked from the first girl.

Clint could feel his heart beating thousand beats per minute. He wanted to hear her say some archer guy or Barton but he felt his heart sink when he heard what the girl actually answered: ”It’s the russian agent. Well I totally understand. Romanoff is super hot.”

Clint left. He found his way to the vents above Coulson’s office. Of course Coulson wanted to fuck Natasha. Natasha was really pretty. Clint was too stupid to think that Coulson might be gay and that he might even have a chance. Clint tried to remember to breath even though it felt hard.

***  
Coulson had started to see people acting strangely around him and he did not enjoy it at all. He didn’t understand what was happening. Sam Winston was one of the just graduated new kids and he got to his office that evening. He was also very popular and attractive.

”What are you still doing here Winston, your shift ended over an hour ago?” Coulson asked him looking at him.

Winston was acting strangely. ”Well you see. I thought I would give you a nice evening”, Winston said and walked to Coulson. Coulson had frozen in shock while Winston was start-ing to open his pants.

Then Coulson hit him. ”What the fuck do you think you are doing. Get the fuck out of here and don’t let me see you again like this”, Coulson shouted at him.

Winston ran, he didn’t walk away, he ran from the office leaving Coulson to wonder what had happened.

Coulson didn’t understand no matter how much he thought. He was in no way or shape attractive. Lately he hadn’t even got to the gym that much. Then he got it. Winston must have wanted a promotion. Coulson was a man in power. Maybe Sam Winston thought that sleeping with him he could get more money or more power sooner. That must be it.

***

Rumour spread fast. It was only couple of days and the whole building knew of the acci-dent. Sam Winston was considered to be hot so now everyone was sure Coulson was straight since someone heard he wanted to be with Natasha and he didn’t want someone so hot as Winston.

Only thing was that no one considered that maybe he didn’t want to sleep with someone just like that. Well someone considered that. That someone was every older agent who ac-tually knew Coulson.

The thing was that junior agents didn’t really focus on their work anymore. The thing with Coulson and his sexuality had started to be too big.

Fury decided to do something about it. He went to talk to Coulson. ”I heard you had an ac-cident with a junior agent while ago”, he started an closed the door so no one could heard what they were talking about.

”Ah yes, but it’s all sorted out. What about it?” Coulson asked Fury. It seemed weird that Fury would come to him about this sort of thing.

”Have you noticed anything weird or out of normal let’s say for the last four months within junior agents?” Fury asked back.

”Yes they have asked couple of weird questions. Personal ones so to say. Am I married, what’s my sexuality ect, what about it?” Coulson asked. He didn’t understand where Fury was getting with his questions. It wasn’t abnormal that junior agents ask too personal ques-tions. ”I just answer that it’s not their business.”

Fury sighed. His agents were too private sometimes. ”Okay I’m just going to tell you. There is a pool. A big one, well the biggest. It’s about your sexuality. Well it started around four months ago and since then has became the biggest at S.H.I.E.L.D. ever. I think that those questions are just kids trying to win it and same with the Winston thing.” Coulson was about to interrupt him but Fury continued. ”It’s starting to affect their ability to work so I’m ordering you to very kindly someway come out of the closet”, he ended.

”But I’m out of the closet”, Coulson said. He had been out of the closet as a very gay since 90s.

”I know. They don’t. Please I’m asking you this very nicely. If you tell them tomorrow you can take the rest of the week off”, Fury promised him.

”Thank you. I’ll tell them. I don’t need to take the time off though. There’s not much to do when you don’t have life outside work.”

Fury nodded and left. Coulson just stared at the door. Don’t people actually know that he is gay? Is there a chance that Clint Barton doesn’t know he likes men and not women? Well Barton likes women so it doesn’t matter in any way.

***

When it was the busiest lunch hour Coulson got on stage and took one microphone. He had it put ready for it. ”Okay I would like everyone's attention”, he said and suddenly he felt real-ly nervous. Why did he feel really nervous? He was already out of the closet. ”I heard that there was a pool about my sexuality. I would like to make couple of things straight.”

Coulson paused for a moment. Everyone was looking at him. He found Barton in the audi-ence. ”Well I’m not” he started. There was applause and a lot of disappointment as a lot of people counted for it. ”I’m gay. And I’ve been out of the closet since 90’s.”

”Well why did you throw Winston out?” Someone yelled from the audience.

”I didn’t want to sleep with him”, Coulson answered he considers getting out really fasts but the next question isn’t as bad.

”So the rumour about you wanting to get to someone’s pants at here is wrong, Roma-noff’s?” another person asks.

”No and yes. I don’t want to get to her pants but I need to get to work.” Oh shit. He said too much. Barton will figure it out. He isn’t stupid. He will figure it.

Coulson turned and walked as calmly as he could to his room even though he wanted to run. He fucked up. He fucked up. He fucked up. Okay. Now everyone knows that he wants to get to someone’s pants fuck. Coulson changes plans. He leaves and takes Lola. He drives home and when he’s home he texts Fury: ’Yeah I’m taking the week off. Fucked up pretty badly.’

Fury answers that he did but at least now they had a new pool to create. Then he tries to calm him down by telling him that at least now one thing was cleared up.

Coulson didn’t feel calm though. He felt like shit. He wanted to bury himself somewhere and never see anyone ever again. Why did this even begin. Barton was going to figure it out and then he was going to want another handler that was for sure.

Coulson sat on his sofa staring at tv for hours. Tv wasn’t even on. His life was ruined just like that. Why did Fury want him to come out again even though he was already out of the closet? Why did his sexuality even interest others? It’s none of their business anyways.

”Hey”, Barton said to him. Coulson turned to him really fast.

”How did you get here?”

”Picked the lock. It’s really not that hard if you have any idea what you are doing. How are you doing?” Barton asked and sat next to him on his couch.

”How do you think I’m doing?” Coulson said burying his head onto his hands. He was very tired.

Clint knew Coulson wasn’t feeling that well but he didn’t know what to answer so he decid-ed not to say anything just yet.

Coulson sighed. “Why did the stupid pool even happen?”

Clint looked at him. The man couldn’t be wondering about that. “You are kidding? Obviously you know why? Right?” He asked for some kind of confirmation but he didn’t get anything from Coulson.

“It’s because you’re smoking hot!”

Coulson turned to him. “But I’m not- I’m balding middle-aged agent and…” he looked like didn’t know how to answer to Clint. “Are you serious?” Clint nodded. “Do you think I’m hot?” It wasn’t a fair question. He knew it. Clint would have no choice but to say yes to make him feel better about himself.

Clint laughed. It hurt Coulson a lot. “What are you talking about. Of course. Do you own a mirror you are fucking hot. I’d kill to be with someone as hot as you”, he said and then real-ized the slip.

“Well you don’t need to kill”, Coulson said and then leaned in to kiss Clint.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading


End file.
